I am NOT the Walrus.

I am the Fail Whale.

40 Days in Brooklyn: Day 35 to 38

Monday, Oct 24^th.  I think the last week and a half has finally caught up to me. In addition to gaining 9 pounds (??!! Thanks Chris, Lawrence and Tom!) I woke up with some kind of stomach bug that laid me out all day. (I suspect this whole town is just a squirming petri dish of every imaginable germ and bacteria.) As a result, I didn't leave the apartment all day. I emailed, wrote my blog, watched tv and slept. And had no experiences. Sorry Todd.

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Tuesday Oct 25^th. Intended to get up and walk today but was still feeling under the weather. And it was cold outside. Maybe not cold by NY standards, but cold according to my thin Texas blood.

That friend is me. 

So instead of walking, I got up and started cleaning out the fridge to see what I could use before it went bad. I made soup using the remaining celery, onion, carrots, zucchini, cauliflower, tomatoes, yams, leftover tomato sauce and the meat sauce in the freezer that came from my originally mangled meatball attempt. It turned out yummy and I think I ate 4 bowls before the day was over. 

It might not look good but it tasted amazing.

I emailed and blogged most of the day, then went out to the grocery store in the afternoon to get some much needed protein. Made salmon sashimi and a salad for dinner. Went to bed early.

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Wed Oct 26^th. Woke up to 38-degree weather (Brrr!) then did laundry and started preparing for my trip home. While I’ve really loved my time here, I’m ready to be back in the Big D. I miss my husband and my pets and my house, car, yard, greenhouse and tree house. I miss my entire Texas life that not filled with strange people standing uncomfortably close to me at all times. 

I absolutely love the subway but right now, I’m looking forward to very private rides in the luxury of my giant albeit gas-guzzling car. And although I’m not proud to admit it, I’m sort of looking forward to eating something that’s not organic, grass-fed, cage-free, pesticide-free, hormone-free and five time the cost of what I pay for it at home.

Since I’m going home and I want to look good, this afternoon I got a haircut and color. In NYC, that costs $326 plus tip. For that, I think it should come with a happy ending too, but maybe I’m just cheap.

Tonight I took my first Uber Pool and shared a ride with someone named Hashim. He spoke quietly into his phone the whole time so I guess he was fine as far as Uber-mates go. He was dropped off first and I was taken to Bushwick to a place called Hell Phone to attend The Inspired Word, an open mic event for writers, comedians, poets, singers and musicians. 

The entrance to Hell Phone

A shot of the bar from their website

The back area

Hell Phone is a French restaurant and speakeasy in which you have to go through an old-time phone booth to get to the bar in back. It’s not hard to imagine you’ve walked through a portal into the past. Until the show begins, that is, and the first performer is a guy rapping to pre-recorded rhythm tracks. And he's rapping about Jesus. For a minute, I had to look around to see if someone was pranking me. 

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not being judgmental. Everyone has to try out their stuff somewhere. And I suspect it’s difficult to bust a rhyme with words like “crucifixion” and “scourge” so more power to him.

The emcee for the evening.

I, on the other hand, did a modified version of some material from my mostly unperformed one-woman show. In this venue, you’ve only got 7 or 8 minutes, so I pared down portions while still retaining the overall journey. It culminates in a thrilling rendition of a song I wrote for my dogs.

Bringing the house down with The Poopy Song

I smiled like an idiot the whole way home. My Uber Pool mates thought I was mentally unbalanced.

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Thurs Oct 27^th.  Weather was cold and rainy again today. But I didn’t mind. I had nowhere to be until dinnertime and I had blogging to catch up on.

Rainy days and Mondays.

In the afternoon I went shopping for a carry-on bag. I’d ordered in a luggage scale and upon receipt learned that, with all my fabulous purchases in NYC,  my luggage was now substantially overweight. So I made the short trek to the Atlantic Center Mall and bounced from Target to Marshalls to Burlington Coat Factory to a place I’ve never heard of called Pay Half. There I had the pleasure of purchasing a lightweight but sturdy Steve Madden bag that I’m hoping lasts for quite some time.

This may come in handy next weekend at the Komen 3-day.

That evening, I met Sarah at the Black Horse Pub in Park Slope for a drink and one more chance to see her before I head home.

The Black Horse

Then we walked over to Toby’s Public House for dinner. I didn’t realize that I’d been to Toby’s before until we got there. It’s where Tom and I had dinner in 2010.  The crazy bartender made amazing beef jerky.

Toby's Public House (and Tom) circa 2010.

Sarah and I enjoyed a couple margaritas and shared a great salad, pizza and some to-die-for roasted cauliflower. Then we had dessert—Sarah got the tiramisu and I ate some sort of chocolate and powdered sugar-covered apple tart that was literally the size of my arm.  

I think I'm fortunate the tequila & sugar coma didn't hit me on the walk home.